Do you find yourself saying things as though they are fixed and absolute?
Things like ‘I’m always late’ or ‘I’m forever making the wrong choices’ or ‘I can’t stick to anything’? They sound pretty innocuous, don’t they? But what if these kinds of negative-affirming statements, spoken as facts, are a constant inner monologue? What does that actually do to you?
I have had some really triggering conversations recently where people, knowledgeable people, have stated something as fact because it was their experience and because it’s the experience of many others too. An online conversation about the experience of peri-menopause was one recently. It has made me feel really frustrated and upset because the person’s opinion matters to me and once it lodges, it’s really hard to shift it from my narrative. And, I don’t want others to pre-determine my life and experiences. I want to have my own experience. And, I don’t want to fear an inevitable part of my life because it has been described in a particular way by someone I respect.
Things get stuck and lodge there
The most obvious response I can hear forming in your mind is ‘oh, just ignore it’ but that isn’t the way my mind seems to works. Things get stuck in my psyche and lodge there.
There, that’s another one of those statements. ‘Things get stuck… and lodge…’ What’s that done? Have I just pre-determined an uncontested way for my brain and thinking to be?
What am I going to do?
My starting point for anything like this is begining by drawing awareness to it. And, with the awareness, attempting to bring kindness. That’s the hardest bit, actually. Well, it is for me. Being kind. Then I start to find smaller chunks and areas to tap on. And, whilst I work on that, I use Bach Flower Remedies to soothe the critical voice and the associated (usually negative) emotions it has invoked.
Are your internal narratives kind?
I think if we could bring the kindness we offer to our best friend and/or a small child, to ourselves, then the world would be a lot nicer place to be. I can’t help but think about all the politicians farmed out to boarding schools feeling rejected, neglected and unloved, fighting their way to the ‘top’ of the tree and determining the way things are run… it makes me shudder. The ignored subconscious darkness they likely all feel determining our collective futures????????? Let’s not get started on politics, eh?
What will you do?
What would you do about it? For me, this feels like a huge area of work which most likely needs some on-going chipping away at. A block of habit which, with patience, can be gradually whittled into something more attractive, more kindly and just all-out nicer to be around. It would be such a relief to be comfortable in and comforted by, my own company. 🙂
DIY help is ace
Tapping is an obvious place for me to start. If you want to work by yourself, there are a load of ways to do it but mostly, it’s about breaking it down into smaller, very specific areas. Then you can work on them in turn until you either reveal the ‘real’ root – the darkness behind the story, or consistently work away at all the layers until it has just gone. Believe me, once it has just gone, it’s amazing, you can hardly believe it’s possible or that it was even there in the first place! Tapping has the power to be that transformative.
Sometimes, we need a helping hand
It can feel a bit overwhleming to tackle a large emotional area by yourself. I work with another Tapping expert when I want to work on something bigger. So, if you find yourself becoming aware of areas of stuckness, habitual nastiness masquerading as tough-‘love’, and don’t know what do to, come and have a chat. I’d to work with you on your internal negative narratives.
Bach Flower Remedies
I find these gentle remedies to be so soothing and effective. I generally respond better to formulations from others as they have that outside perspective which enables true insight. But, Dr Bach created them as a self-healing modality, so you can do it for yourself. I suggest using the Healing Herbs website to do that.
Contact me to chat about you
Email me: HertsHerbalist@hotmail.com or call 07492 511366 to arrange a chat about how we might guide you to a place of gentle kindness towards yourself. You choose the modality/ies; herbs, tapping, Bach Flowers. <3
Catching the Tapping bug
If you’re new to the idea of Tapping – join my weekly session: ‘Catching the Tapping bug’ on Thursday evenings 8.30-9.10pm to find out what it feels like and how you might benefit. The first session is free to anyone who wants to give it a go. After that, I ask for donation payments with a suggested minimum of £8 or time swaps if you have £ difficulties due to Lockdown.
I look forward to welcoming you to my Tapping sessions, they are such an oasis of shared special energy and calm that they feel like the highlight of my week.