I created this tea for myself whilst waiting for the ingredients of my intended original recipe. It’s an accidental brilliance which came out of my own need for succour. At a time when old hurts have been resurfacing and playing out vividly. At a time when healing those wounds is my primary imperative because I know that from now on, all else depends upon the healing of those wounds. In order to truly step forward into my full self and my full human capacity as healer, mother and wife.
A while back, doing some healing work, I had a vision of myself having constantly struggled against the restraints the impact of bearing wounds has had. Wounds which weren’t intentionally inflicted but nevertheless hurt me deeply. So deeply, I didn’t know how to feel the impact so I pushed it down. Because when you push it down, it doesn’t affect you any longer, right? I saw it as a thick band around my waist which drags at me, holds me back against the direction I want to go in. Holds me back because it is tethered to an enormous, round boulder. It’s round so it ‘can’ be rolled but not easily; it takes all my strength. Every centimetre is a life’s energy.
During the time when I created this tea, it felt so like that. Being restrained, not shackled and, ostensibly free. Free, but unable to roam. Held to the weight of the hurt held within me for many decades. Pain from old hurts. Pain from events with people who were supposed to love and care for me. And, they did. But they also hurt me.
It may sound strange to say but recently I’ve been struck very forcefully by the strong sense that I carry pain which isn’t mine, in addition to my own. I carry pain from others in my line. I know that I actively tried to carry my Mum’s very substantial pain. And that I was successful enough in taking it on, in empathising with it, that others have presumed me to have experienced the same. My understanding was so deep that I appeared to have experienced the same. But, I haven’t. And, even if I had, it would be time to put it all down. Time to move on from the shackles of pain.
It feels like it’s late to begin this, I am at midlife, on the cusp of peri menopause but maybe that’s exactly why the time is now. And, perhaps, I am afraid that if I don’t do it now, I never will. And, if I don’t, then who will? If the line of pain and hurting doesn’t stop with me, then I gift it through my learned traits, as well as my epigenetic tags, to my daughter. Who would knowingly pass on these things to their offspring? Not any that I know.
So, then, in order to process my pains, felt in the wounds I received and the wounds I learned, I lean into my herbs. I seek out their comfort, their wisdom and their succour. And relish the beauty as it travels round my body. Knowingly gifting those things to myself. Feeling the embrace of the floral notes which dance on my tongue and weave into my soul like sistren and brethren.
I created this tea to feel like the warm embrace we all need when our hearts are sore. When we feel our hurts right up at the surface. When we ache all over from internal pain. It is not meant to replace the embrace of A.N. Other, rather to enfold you in love for and from yourself. To lavish yourself with the nourishing support needed when your heart feels like it’s in many, many pieces.
Contact me on Lucy.Blunden.Botanicals@gmail.com to order yours.
How does healing heartbreak taste?
On the first sip, I am struck by the warmth it brings to my chest region – I often drink teas cold. It has a full feeling in my mouth-round and expansive. This extends downwards into my chest and fills me with warmth, a teeny bit of hope and some inkling of love. The flavour is floral with a strong element of summery fruit – no specific fruits, just a fruitiness. This is a herb tea which has flowers to nourish, to protect and filter and to strengthen against lifes tricky bits – the bits which leave us feeling raw and undefended.
If your heart is shattered and in need of re-gathering, this is the tea for you. Contact me on Lucy.Blunden.Botanicals@gmail.com to order yours.