Tagged: change

Clean-slate September

The feeling of starting something anew… how long does it last for you before old routines slide back in and blow your good intentions out the water?

I’ve just taken my daughter back to school for the first day of a new year. There were a lot of nerves! New classroom, new teacher, new routines to get used to… We tapped all the way!

I’m not technically starting anything new but I’ve also got that feeling. The air was crisp and wet this morning – a sure sign we’re heading into Autumn. And the car was covered in condensation; a reminder that in a few months, that will by frozen and I’ll be scraping it off… brrrrr!

Gretchen Rubin talks of the ‘strategy of the clean slate’ as an opportunity to begin a new routine, start something new – add a new habit. And, I’m thinking about what mine will be.

Build on my movement intentions

I’ve been going to Pilates and Deep Aqua Aerobics classes on and off since before the summer but now is the time to embed them solidly into my routine.

Planning my work hours… and sticking to it!

  • Using the beautiful planner I have
  • Using diary reminders to look at it
  • Using phone alarms to remind me to write my ‘to-do’ list at the end of the day ready for the next day

In the past, I get this feeling of new start, I am usually in the Summer phase of my menstrual cycle (fuelled by testosterone!) and so it all feels really possible. I tell myself I’ll be loads different and then feel terrible when I ‘fail’ – i.e. go back to ‘normal’… But, it actually feels different this time. I planned my desk activities a week ago. I’m clear what they will be. And, I’m clear that when – because it is most likely to be when, not if – I hit a road block, that I will journal and tap.

It’s so easy for me to hit a feeling of overwhelm. I look around at the un-done jobs and feel the panic begin to rise. “Oh no, there’s so much to do, how will I ever get it done?” “I’m so bad at doing things” ” I leave so much unfinished” “I’m basically a terrible person” ” No wonder I feel so… ” fill in the dots with whichever low feeling is there. Grab hold of that feeling, draw it inwards and wallow.

Or, push that feeling away, get up and go and do something to distract myself (e.g. cooking, eating, buying something which will temporarily fix it all…) Something I feel I can do well. I can eat really well.

Do you recognise this kind of pattern?

If you’re anything like me, this pattern will have been dogging you for years. And, there are likely to be many reasons why it’s there. Why it might be really important that it stays with you.

In my life, it protects me from my feelings of being not good enough. Not Good. Enough. That big, old, chestnut. The one with the disease which is ‘rotting’ me from the inside out.

Recently, I’ve become so conscious of the sheer quantity of negative-towards-myself stuff which churns round my brain all the time. All. The. Time. And, I mean ALL THE FREAKIN’ TIME. Sounding familiar?

The internal volume has also ramped right up. So, whilst the feelings have been there for decades, I’m only just really knowing it. Only just really feeling it. Really feeling it. Really real-ing it.

And, it’s sh!t . Really, really sh!t.

And this has been my primary negative driver. For years. I push myself forward against this force all the time. I make myself face my fears and do things despite it. But it’s really hard work. It’s tiring.

And, logically, am I really that bad? I’ve acheived a lot of things which I can be truly proud of. But, even writing that, I started distracting myself with thoughts about ‘texting so-and-so’ or what to have for dinner. And, undermining those achievements with “Yes, but you didn’t get the top grades” etc. etc. etc. (Followed by, if you say that, people won’t want to use your services because you aren’t an A* student)

It’s constant. It’s painful. So, what will I do instead today? If that hits me halfway through the day, what will I do to ‘beat’ it back?

I shall tap. I will tap by myself for the surface things. I will tap with others who are expert to get to the core roots of this.

And, most importantly, I will give my feelings some space. Allow them to be there. And know that it is hard to sit with “I’m not good enough” in all its various guises. It’s hard to stay with it because it is not what I’ve done in the past because, it makes me want to run to the snack drawer to cram it all down. To consume it away.

BUT. And, this is the biggest heart-space realisation for me; it’s always been there. Of course it has. Sometimes it’s less loud but it’s always there. I know this in my head, but I’m finally understanding it in my heart. No matter how fast I run, no matter how many crisps I eat, I am still here. My feelings are still mine; loud and clear within me.

Whats changed?

I have been working on this aspect of myself for years. I know it holds me back. I know it’s not helping but I have felt helpless in face of it. But now, it feels like it’s my time, space and earthly-mission to turn and face these feelings which have dogged much of my waking hours for decades. It’s time to feel into and be OK with who I am . As l am. Warts, bumps, curves, wrong notes, learning-all-the-time, me.

My time is now. Hoorah. It’s time to be me.

It’s not easy but it’s time.

Is it your time?

I help people like you to find your emotional stumbling blocks and, working together, free you to move forwards. Herbs, tapping and Bach flowers.

Move Mountains with me

National Stress Awareness Week

How I reduce your stress with herbs and EFT

So, we all know how it feels to be stressed. We all know what it’s like in our bodies, in our minds and how it impacts on us.

Or, do we?

Do you notice the relentless micro-stressors in your daily life? Do you feel the constant onslaught of more things to do and get done, more blips on your phone nagging at you, your children tugging your sleeve wanting things and maybe your partner asking for things from you too?

Sometimes, you will and you feel ok about it and sometimes, it all builds up into TOO MUCH and that’s when we might eg shout at someone we love and then feel guilty. It’s a relentless cycle sometimes.

How can herbs help me with that? That’s just in my head, isn’t it? It’s up to me to be more controlled and in control of myself. Right?

How’s that been going for you?

Adaptogens

As a herbalist, I have an entire armoury of wonderful medicines at my disposal to support you. There are different ways of approaching it. If you are feeling stressed and that’s the predominant feature, I can prescribe one out of many different adaptogens. These literally do what they say – they assist your mind and body adapt to stress.

My most recent work with a patient who is taking the lovely adaptogen Withania somnifera has been remarkable. Withania is indicated in many scenarios but particularly for the ‘tired and wired’ and can be brilliant for busy, working mums. We’re also using EFT-tapping and she’s finding the ramifications of the double-pronged approach and subtle changes to be really far-reaching:

  • She is calmer at work, choosing to lead with love (she’s in what she describes as a ruthless industry)
  • She has told me that she has chosen the humble path with her husband and that an argument was diffused and she felt much stronger and less petty

These changes are not directed by me, she is growing them from within her as she feels stronger and more at peace. How much more peaceful (and less stressful) are the choice of humility and love? Those outcomes may not completely resonate for you but these outcomes feel right for this person.

Don’t forget nervines…

A medicinal preparation, usually of herbal origin, which is said to act on the nervous system, reduce anxiety and tension (nervine relaxant), and stimulate or strengthen neural function.

https://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/nervine

Nervines calm you by soothing and nourishing the nervous system. We have a wide variety of nervine herbs with subtly differing actions – some also support the digestion, some support the gynaecological system, some the muscularskeletal system and others the cardiovascular system. I choose the herbs which align most closely with your experience. Is feeling stressed sending your blood pressure through the roof? There’s a herb for that. Are you getting palpitations when you’re uptight? There’s a herb for that. Do you get bloating in your belly? There’s loads of herbs for that!

I would use a nervous system trophorestorative when someone’s body is far out of whack with what would be considered normal rhythms and responses. Perhaps you’re a hypervigilant new mum who can’t fall asleep as every noise triggers an ‘alarm’ response preventing the ‘permission’ to sink into sleep. Or a distressed student who is feeling totally overwhelmed and panicked by the volume of work they have to tackle and the upcoming assessments and deadlines. Maybe the business person who lies awake half the night, then eventually oversleeps and ends up dashing for the train every morning…

Maybe one of those describes you?

When we work together and using herbs and healthful food choices to nudge the body back to a state of wellness and the EFT to clear out habitual patterns of emotional responses, we can, almost literally, move mountains. Those old thought patterns get tapped away so that the herbally nourished body can flourish.

I have seen it time and again. When our frenetic brains lead the way and we forget our bodies, then we can move out of balance and into a situation of illness. Often something with no name but a collection of life-impacting symptoms. Maybe it’s a dodgy digestion, hurting head, aches and pains, tired all the time…? There are so many annoying ways our clever body devises to send out the SOS signals. My job is to hear them and help you to find the best ways to soothe them and take notice in a constructive, reparative way.

Sounds difficult? Not got time? We do it in ways which work for you and with your routines. Baby steps or giant leaps, whatever you need and are ready for. There is no set path as it is entirely tailored to you. Every prescription is different. Every bit of advice on food and lifestyle. Each takes into account what you can do and manage. This mountain is not moved in one day and not by you on your own. We’re in this together, picking up the pebbles and step-by-step, moving your mountain.

Let’s do it! Contact me to support you in choosing the pebbles to move to become a less stressed and healthier you.

Change

I talked in my blog on joyous practise about playing the violin. I have played since I was a child of just 8 years old.

Recently, I used my lack of playing during the Covid-19 lockdown to wipe the violin slate clean. Going back and picking it up after not playing for over a year meant I could really feel the bodily contortions I inadvertently get myself into. All the habitual tensions, the “oh no, this will sound really dreadful” downward negative judgements beginning before the bow hads even hit the string. 

And, I’ll be completely honest it did sounds dreadful. It sounded awful because my ear was not as out of practise as my fingers and my musician’s critical faculties were in fine fettle. And, it sounded dreadful because I was not able to offer myself the compassion I would to others.

How to wipe the slate clean?

I’ve started Alexander Technique lessons with Julia Duschenes in St Albans. Alexander Technique is a form of body re-education, a way to ‘get out of your own way’, to notice tension and release what’s not needed. Julia’s marvellous AND she plays a stringed instrument AND she works with lots of string players. She is helping me re-build my body and change my body’s reflex response to the violin. I don’t have to take up a ‘violin posture’ before I’ve even lifted it out the case. I don’t have to assume it’ll be hard work, tense, self-critical, not good enough. What joy it is to begin to remove those things from my playing. 

During a recent weekend of playing, I’ve noticed the “argh, that’s a lot of very fast notes” tightening in my left hand and aimed to let go of as much of it as I could. I’ve released the “got to be perfect” self-pressure and whilst the habit is not yet gone, it was so joyful to have those moments of freedom, enjoyment and a sense of largesse in my playing.

And, beginning to be freed from my own fearful sense of being ‘not good enough’ I could enjoy being what I am. Fancy that. Enjoying being what I am, in this moment.

So, what am I actually doing?

I’m inviting change. It’s not easy. There are a lot of years of withheld tears in those muscular habits, lots of time suffering from the ‘not good enough’ belief and years of believing that musicians strive for something they’ll never attain: perfection. In truth, I won’t reach that place of CD perfection because I’m a human being not a robot, I don’t practise 4+ hours per day, every day and I don’t want to. It’s simply not that important to me. I have chosen another path. So, my musical mind, my musical body is learning to let go of that pressure and accept that good enough really is.

Why change?

As with any change, noticing a way to be positively different is key. Start interrupting the usual pathway and asking how it could be different. I learned this from Julia. What now sounds soo obvious, and just wasn’t a few short weeks ago, is changing from self-flagellating for a mistake and feeling worthless as a result of that mistake to asking how did it happen and what could I do differently to avoid it next time? Using curiosity rather than harsh self-judgement. Being my own teacher rather than judge and jury.

Why write about change?

I ask my patients to be ready to, and support them in becoming ready for, change. It might sound obvious that there’ll be change but it’s generally the hardest part. We like the way we do things. That’s why we do them that way. We might not see the connection between the outcome and some of our actions and choices. So, it is my job to aid in seeing things differently. Or, we might feel powerless to make positive changes as we feel as though we are losing something important, secure and familiar. But, it is only in adopting changes that we can bring about change.

If we want our bodies to BE different, we have to DO different

Lucy Blunden

My role is to engage you in those changes, enable you to feel it’s possible and help you notice that it feels good when you stick with it.
Having spent years fighting myself over habits which were doing me no good, I really understand how hard it can be to being about change. I recognise that change requires all sorts of different parts of us and sometimes those around us to be on board. Coralling all of those things can be tricky as well. Taking baby steps with my guidance will help you find your way forward moving towards those changes you desire. This is one of the things which I love about my job; helping people to find that a-ha moment enabling them to step into the new concepts positively and with confidence.

Fear in times of uncertainty

It’s one of the hardest things to manage. Fear. When we don’t know what’s around the corner or even where the next corner is going to be.

We are living times of previously unthought of difficulty. You may have lost people you love, your business may look rocky or you’re on your own at home, you may be nursing the sick and be frightened for the welfare of your loved ones.

Human beings are resourceful and I truly believe we will find our way through this. Right now, though, it gives us time to reflect and be with ourselves – perhaps a little too much.

During times of challenge, the Bach Flower Remedies can be a source of great comfort and relief. I studied them in 2003 and have used them myself and for my patients for years. Most recently I have found that subtle action to be very powerful. Issues which have been affecting my daily relationships and general wellbeing are just melting away.

Some of the remedies I expect to turn to right now are:

  • Walnut – for change
  • Honeysuckle – for relinquishing our hold on the past
  • Mimulus – for fear of known things
  • Apsen – for fear of the unknown
  • Elm – for feeling overwhelmed
  • Star of Bethlehem – for shock
  • Mustard – for feelings of gloom
  • Gentian – for feelings of despondency

And others which might be around loneliness and feelings of isolation.

If you feel that any of these and/or other emotions are troubling you right now, I am offering short consultations and a remedy to be posted out to you.

Ordinarily, I charge £65 for an hour and the remedies are £5. To bring relief to my community, I am offering a consultation for 20mins online via Zoom and the charge (including the remedy and the postage) is £25.

Email me to sign up: HertsHerbalist@hotmail.com

If you are self-employed/unemployed and struggling then I will give you my time for a donation and charge £8 for the remedy and postage.

The remedy will last for around a month.

Dr Bach felt that combining up to 7 different remedies in one mix was optimum. This means we can address 7 different areas of concern. Have a think about your primary concerns right now. We will work it out together but you might also like to have a look for yourself. I suggest this resource: https://www.healingherbs.co.uk/choosing-and-using/essence-selector/

What is entirely unique about the way I work with the remedies is that I often make the remedies up in Rose water or Orange blossom water. I use these other flowers as they bring an extra comfort to the remedy. The aromatic waters are very high quality remedies from the Avicenna, the herbal supplier known to produce the best aromatics. The rose water is like being surrounded by pure, fragrant rose petals. It’s glorious!

Sign up for this great offer by sending an email to: HertsHerbalist@hotmail.com and include a phone number that I can contact you on.

I look foward to helping support you through this.

With love,

Lucy, your local herbalist