Oh my goodness what a productive day it has been! Clean-Slate September here we come… Not only have I completed the tasks I intended to complete, I have fit more in too! Wowsers.
Now, based on previous experience, I am anticipating hitting a low tomorrow. The excited new-start feelings and Summer of my menstrual phase will plummet and I will slide off the testosterone-fuelled turbo back into the mire of self-doubting, questionning and halting normal.
Or will I? I really hope not. I usually feel like I have no control over these extremes. But, perhaps I have more than I think.
In my aims to combat this, I am setting out my next self-employed work day in my planner, ready to grasp the nettle. So, after a walk in the woods to set up my day, during which I will tap on any creeping self-doubts, I hope to continue in this productive vein.
However, whilst those things are important, what I think is mostly key, is the need to measure my energy. I view energy like money. If you spend what you haven’t got, you have to work harder to pay it back. To climb back up to zero again. When I am keyed up and excited, I spend frivolously and copiously.
And then I run out. Then I hit Winter, regardless of my menstrual season.
I find it really good to know when the days of menstrual Spring and Summer are here and when it is Autumn or Winter instead. Those seasons are the days for looking inwards, planning and creating rather than putting it out there like the energy of spring and summer.
Do you know your Autumn, Winter, Spring and Summer modes?
You don’t have to be a menstruating woman to feel them. They might be phases of each day. It might coincide with the moon. Times when you are buzzing with new-day energy or are slower and more reflective. Maybe it’s after physical exercise that you find your outwards, Summery energy? Maybe it’s after a long, nourishing nap or meditation? Knowing these things in yourself are the key to getting to the best bits of you at the right times and not forcing it when it’s not there.
Spend your energy wisely. It is your currency for life. Feed your energy well and it will nourish and serve you as well. Rest times in the day. Pauses with nothing in them. Not scrolling. Just being calm and present, breathing and resting to reset your body, nervous system and more.
It’s hard, though, isn’t it? I’m not sure why, but it seems to be hard for us all to find a few moments of calm contemplation. I presume it’s because we’re all, on some level, running from ourselves. Running from our feelings, driving through on adrenaline and pushing at all our limits.
I have been doing this for decades.
Pushing myself, through and on until I am forced to stop by a minor illness with strong fatigue, and usually a bit of fever – what I now recognise to have been a mild form of burnout. I might also experience strong overwhelm, that I can only rest in bed and then migrate to the sofa for non-challenging TV dramas for a few days. Doesn’t last long and then I’m back into pushing and full-on drive again.
The last time, the fatigue and feeling of emptiness lasted a lot longer than a week. It went on for a couple months with about 1 month at the level of nothing in the tank + brain fog. Word recall was really hard. Memory was non-existent and energy for anything other than basic routine absent. I had to cancel a lot of things. Work. Social engagements. Family life.
So, after coming through this, I am aware that each time I drive myself with adrenaline, I am risking pushing beyond my personal limits. Into the zone where there is nothing in the tank but I’m still going.
Does this resonate with you? Would you like help to navigate a thriftier you who spends (their energy) within their means? My unique combination of Herbs and EFT address the underlying emotional drivers which make it so hard to find a new path by yourself and nurture the body back into its natural balance.
Get in touch to explore whether this combination suits you and whether we will make a good team.