Of all the things I value the most highly, it is the discovery of a greater understanding of what makes me tick. Over the years, I have explored many different mind and body techniques, EFT-tapping, counselling, therapy, CBT, Alexander Technique, Shiatsu, massage, osteopathy, craniosacral and more.
The moments of “A-HA!” which I remember the most clearly are the ones I have unearthed myself.
The first moment of a-ha
When I learned from Gretchen Rubin’s 4 Tendencies Quiz that I am an Obliger, it seemed incredible to me that all those years of therapy had failed to reveal to me that the reason I struggled so hard with taking up a new habit or actually getting round to creating my own website was not laziness. Falling into the ‘Obliger’ tendency which makes me an excellent employee as I respond primarily to external motivators. And, new habits are not externally driven and, clearly, neither was my website (although I got there in the end!)
I couldn’t believe that after all this soul searching, naval gazing and analysis, that such a simple facet of my personality could be new to me. It was a huge relief to find that there was a driver behind it and knowing about it helped me to find effective strategies to get round it. PHEW!
I ask all my patients and clients to take this quiz as it is really helpful knowing what drives each person to make changes. With Ogliber patients I am more likely to say ‘do this X times per week by the next time I see you’. If I said that to a Rebel or a Questionner, I would get nowhere! With a Rebel I sow a seed with choices, with a Questionner, I would ask them to research a few different options and then plump for the one they prefer. With upholders, I have to be careful not to ask too much and that what I ask of them doesn’t clash with their own requirements of themself.
I love this framework and have found it really interesting working with myself knowing this aspect of myself.
The second a-ha moment
This one is all about clutter. I have been untidy all my life. I have been a very effective medical secretary and administrator with fabulous systems in place but incapable of keeping my own spaces tidy. Strangely, although this one is still at the stage of unfurling, I know that once I can take on board the fullness of the implications, this will change my life (and my partner’s – a minimalist who hates clutter…) The root of it is that I need to have things right in front of me. Those intensely detailed filing systems which I love -in theory- because they appeal to my very organised and methodical brain simply don’t work for me because I need things to be out. The things I use day-to-day need to be in front of my eyes.
I learned this from Cassandra Aarssen’s Clutter bug quiz where I came out as a Butterfly! I was really shocked. I love the systems of a cricket but I never stick to them and it would appear that this is because I need things simple and right in front of me. Put it tidily away in a drawer? It’ll never been seen again. A truly out of sight, out of mind person! Who’da thunk it?
Actually, I am still not sure I believe it but, I am quite excited about adapting my ‘tidying’ styles to this more visual approach to see what happens. And, I have already arranged my pretty notebooks so that I can see them rather than trapping them in a drawer and forgetting which one is for which project.
What have you discovered about yourself which felt revolutionary/revelatory to your life? Email me at: firstname.lastname@example.org to let me know